The day that just went by had too many emotions in it for me to tackle; there was anxiety, there was happiness, there was stress, there was disgust and finally there was anger. It is actually ending up pretty impassioned and please do not ask me why. It's been that kind of a day and I always manage to beat the best out of myself. There is a saying in my mother tongue and which literally translates as "dog's tail is always crooked". The saying is used when ever a person keeps on repeating things without learning from his mistakes and it's the most paradoxical mind that gets facilitated by this ingenious phrase.
So why am I writing this and what does this have to do with what ever happened today; in fact the day was pretty much OK except for the finish and probably I must learn to behave much better than I end up doing. My emotions have not been in my control off late and I admit I have been a mess; and probably I was searching for a window to let that stress out and look for a new beginning. But what I am forgetting is that, new beginnings come with new challenges and I must be prepared to take up the challenges and fight but at the same time be prepared to accept the fact that probably the direction chosen wasn't just meant to be mine. My problem arises from the fact that I always manage to look at the wrong side of the mirror and end up hurting myself than needed.
The world is such that; there will always be people around you and you must realize and prioritize your likes and dislikes. In this process you end up hurting some of them but make them realize that you would definitely stand by them in the time of need and I guess you did a good job if you were able to achieve that. But somethings just do not help your cause at times; and today was that kind of a day where some were not letting me be nice to them, not all; and I for reasons beyond my control get annoyed more than often. That is never a good sign specially if among the people around, is a person whom you really like and want to share more time than normal. But of course, if that person is not fond of you or is not in the right state of mind, it makes a huge difference and I must realize that I am annoying her and I stand a good chance to be kicked at my face.
So yes, here is where that phrase suits me perfect. I have had my lessons in the past and I guess I am not learning from them. The stem of the fact arises from the number of times I have had to live in alienation and of course my dear friends always being there to pull me out of it. I guess I loose it way too easy and I just have to know how to control my anxiety much better.
To leave you all in some serenity... here is a nice little song. Donno why, I wanted to listen to it and thought I would make you all listen too. Thanks for reading.